This is about Night Terrors.

For a string of several months, mostly in 2024, I kept waking up in the middle of the night completely convinced that I had swallowed something I shouldn't have. Ususally it was something sharp (like needles, tacks, nails, my own teeth at times) or important (A USB Drive containing... something I shouldn't lose?) or otherwise dangerous. I would climb out of bed utterly convinced that if I didn't do something, I would probably die or need to go to the hospital (I'm sensing a THEME here...) For many of these episodes, I had this terrifying belief that if I moved my mouth or throat at all, I would die. I couldn't swallow, and I had to keep whatever was in my throat from moving any further. I could breathe just fine, and never felt that I was choking. It was something else going on. I would roll onto the floor still mostly asleep but gripped by some kind of intense fear, stumble into the bathroom, and gradually come to my senses hunched over the sink trying to cough up something that wasn't there.

I'm thankful that I slept alone for all of this.

I had a few slightly different and more embarrassing experiences, too. (Waking up convinced that "The World's Deadliest Tarantula" (according to my dream) had fallen from the ceiling and into my bed. I was startled, and basically fell onto the floor before I started pulling all of the blankets and sheets away, looking for this imaginary thing. I had a guest staying over, downstairs. I still desperately hope that she didn't hear me. She never mentioned it, and I never brought it up. I still wonder about it occasionally.) A few other times, I woke up screaming and wasn't sure why.

My friends and family have expressed concern when this has come up in conversation, and I can't blame them. I would, too, if any of them described these things to me. I, too would ask them to seek out a sleep specialist or do some research into handling parasomnias. Mostly I find myself embarassed, and a little bit bemused in retrospect. Like yeah. Waking up realizing I'd completely stripped my bed looking for "The World's Deadliest Tarantula" in a climate where there definitely wouldn't be one is kind of funny. Like my brain is deciding to live in some kind of weird looney toons world where this sort of thing can happen. Lets throw in movie quicksand and tanks full of robotic sharks while we're at it.

Looking into it, things like this are apparently rare in adults, and can be caused by things like PTSD and anxiety disorders. I couldn't help but wonder what the underlying cause or pattern behind most of the 'episodes' could have been, why they came on so suddenly, happened so frequently, then vanished. I never got around to having any testing done or trying to psychoanalyze myself. Maybe that's for the best.

More than anything, I'm relieved that they haven't happened in a while, and really hope they don't come back.